Such Rainbow (Gratitude Poem #10)

To my beloved sister comrade, conspirator, co-editor, new-age pen-pal, teacher (did I say sister? did I say comrade?) Mai'a Williams and my sweet cyber god-daughter Aza...how many ways do you make my world brighter? Mai'a and Aza you are my touchstone for revolution, my family on the scene, my lightning rod for what revolutionary mothering looks like as a practice on the scale of the universe, of the weather, of the planetary possibility of love. Rainbows in the desert. Mai'a: our relationship reminds me of the truth, that energy is not limited by space or time (or the legality of skype)! Aza: big-haired-cyber-auntie loves you and black feminism lives!!!

Speaking of energetic miracles...look how a farflung community of loved ones is airlifting an ancestor worshiper home into the arms of Audre Lorde with the sheer power of their faith: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip

such rainbow

For Mai’a and Aza

After Audre Lorde’s “Prism”

no such rainbow

light breaks prayer

listening for plague

peals back skype longing

no such hell

no such wake up bell

untrue

there is a prism

crystal walking

revolutionary refract

there is a vision of pink hair

and cheering

girl voices squared in Tahrir

don’t sleep

if you don’t know

you don’t know

how hustle blows wind to

sand cut clarity

how late nights flame artful into home

how moonlit blessings

from silenced gods

make it all possible

we are taking such brightness to bed

dreams to art

we are choosing to clash open in color

glass our wishes into poems

art to dream late in morning

sand moon into glass

sleeptalking prayer

bruised gift of the future

we are holding it in our fists

burnt tribute of realness

we are wearing it on our faces

we are catalyzing sun

we are waking up ready

for such rainbows as this

Lasting (Gratitude Poem #9)

Family! I feel like I am on the best possible version of "Alexis Pauline Gumbs" this is your life. This is my life!!!! Gratitude overflowing. We have actually reached and exceeded the goal of my chipin fundraiser. Which means my plane ticket to St. Croix to visit Gloria Joseph and re-baptize myself in the legacy of Audre Lorde is paid for!!!!! Yippeee! AND...I would never deny myself the honor of writing a poem for any of you, so if you want to contribute to food and other expenses of the trip feel free to keep chipping in here: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip

Maura Bairley was the first boss I had that made me want to grow up and the first adult I trusted to tell the truth everyday and not be broken by it. When I was some sort of vaguely defined work-study assistant at the Barnard-Columbia Rape Crisis and Anti-Violence Support Center (which Maura helped to found and also to shepherd into its own department complete with a robust brilliant staff and, peer advocates, crisis responders, and full-steam peer education programs that empower people of all genders to make moves to end violence...) I marvelled that someone like Maura could exist, and be happy, and be so nice to me on monday mornings!!!!! Working for Maura also meant being surrounded by posters of Audre Lorde, books by genius feminists of color on a regular basis. Osmosis is real.

One way to say it is this:

Maura actively created holistic structures to end and respond to sexual violence on a campus where I survived sexual assault. Maura has actively nurtured structures for queer black feminist transformation in my communities that I benefit from every single day. Maura has built a model for whole, real, resplendent survival just by living the truth of her own life and letting some of us be witnesses. Maura, you have saved my life over and over again just by living yours.

And here is another way to say it

Lasting

For Maura Bairley

After Audre Lorde’s “Legacy-Hers”

to crack the code of your giving

measured presence daily truth

all at once your unapologetic self

enduring miracle

intro course

on how bright Black women

stay survive

and whole

i showed up

to study you with awe

a stark believer

stumbling half grace

at twice pace

to seek rest in holy war

to learn you by immersion

watch you cherish crossfire path

deep and marked with slender bones

hear you breathe a structure of tears

into undrained heroism

neat next steps

feel you conjure peace in uncalm air

unflinching at terrible

having known something worse

believing in so much better

must be there was some slow and sacred music

you could hear

centered in collusion

clear ancestral chorus

lifting you into the most urgent now

unrushed clarity

making space

to you it was just showing up

to me it was the proof that life was livable

the proof that we would win

what I didn’t know

i needed

to keep

on

being

me

the gift

not being first

and lasting.

What It Means (Gratitude Poem #8)

Dear Family,
These poems are supposed to be gifts for you, but they are such gifts to me. Thank you for the miraculous opportunity to be present to the radiant truth that I am surrounded by abundant brilliance and priceless people!!!
This poem is for Mecca Jamilah Sullivan who I see not at all often enough, but who I am always present to as a fellow traveler. Before we ever met our friends in common (especially La Marr Jurelle Bruce) KNEW that we should know each other. Ours is a relationship like that of many sister-comrades in conversation across wide space, but with such affirming proximity of spirit! And so it is an honor to dedicate this poem, inspired by one of Audre Lorde's several poems to her sister-comrade Pat Parker, to the great writer, scholar, performer, activist, Mecca Jamilah Sullivan!


And guess what! We are 86% of the way to our goal. If you want to join the chorus of angels that is affirming this blessing of a trip to visit Gloria Joseph in St. Croix and commune with the spirit of Audre Lorde and to be near a beach for two much needed weeks chip in here: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip


For Mecca Jamilah Sullivan

After Audre Lorde’s “Girlfriend”

read your cybernetic name

like air traffic neon

landing stripped to faith

a way home in the dark

taken * delicious

just plain right

need to know

that all year long

another presses pencil to bone

pushes black keys to re-cord chords

otherwise forgotten

badly madly radly

in it

spirit in flight

let’s make a phone book

a hotline

for those of us who know

this is what it means to live

forever

silence pregnant born again to witness

beloved voices haunting into word.

breathe (gratitude poem #7)

Greetings Family!
Seven is a blessed number and I am SO blessed to have the love of my sister-comrade Adele Nieves in my life. We have created dances in honor of each other, traveled highways and the internet to witness each other's brilliance and NOW I am so proud that she is immersing herself in an amazing journey to continue to deepen her work as a healer in our community informed by indigenous traditions that have been suppressed and with accountability to our whole beloved community. Adele is like a lightening rod to transformation. I feel everything she learns impacting the world immediately!!!! Send Adele blessings for focus, clarity and sustainable inspiration as she engages in what I would describe as deep delicious healer bootcamp university!

And if you want to join Adele in helping with my dream-come-true trip to meet Gloria Joseph and get your own love poem based on Audre Lorde's Marvelous Arithmetic of Distance chip in at: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip


breathe

For Adele

After Audre Lorde’s “The Night-Blooming Jasmine”

star breathing
water blooming
you are a flute song
seducing form to transform
itself

walk searoad
baptize baskets
veinwave powersurge
to reiki ringing hands

sunmade staccato
there are no strangers
can be no enemies
each challenge
unequal to bright embrace

chisel truth in sand
where the only way to walk
is to know for sure
to remember through the center of your days

sweet need known
flower flown
winged work working it out

if they couldn’t tell
now they know they know
the world gets baptized
when you get saved

breathe stars
bloom water
sing sun

Circle (Gratitude Poem #6)

Family!
Vanessa Jackson is a person who shapes herself into sunshine, sweetening her purpose by creatively contributing to everything she believes in. I have benefited from Vanessa's belief in abundance enough to know that while many people give gifts, Vanessa at this stage, IS a gift to our community and our ancestors. I am so grateful to be living in a world that Vanessa claims as sacred! Today celebrating the launch of Vanessa's Full Circle: A Woman's Return to HerSelf program, I offer this poem.

For any of you other glorious gifts out there looking to sweeten purpose into love by supporting my journey to visit Gloria Joseph and commune with Audre Lorde and getting your own dedicated poem...join the love circle here: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip


Circle

For Vanessa Jackson’s Return to HerSelf

After Audre Lorde’s “Construction”

sky rebirth sound

wake you up walk

face full with signs

sign for sistering

stand forever

sign for seeing

full days fertile

silence reborn

into sound

the sky

of your sweet soul

listens

signposts to heal

soothseek

spirit as salve

so

sky sounds like you

waking walking

healing holding

life as loving

and then doing it again

therefore

if we build our present

out of gifts like you

truth resounds

forever.

To Be Brown (Gratitude Poem #5)

It is an honor to write a poem for my soul brother Darnell Moore whose donation put us over the 50% mark in my lovefilled fundraising for my dream trip to St. Croix to visit Gloria Joseph and reconnect across water, time and plane with the spirit of Audre Lorde! It's even more exciting because Darnell too is on a dream journey having just recently purchased his tickets for a collective funded and black feminist ancestor mandated solidarity journey to Palestine. I love being spirit siblings with you Darnell!!! May we always support and affirm each other in the work of making our ancestors proud!

If you want to support the journey and get your own dedicated poem inspired by one of Audre Lorde's poems in The Marvelous Arithmetics of Distance check out my fundraising page at

http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip

love,

lex

To Be Brown

For Darnell Moore

After Audre Lorde’s “Thaw”

we season language

into sweet potatoes

deep heavy whole

with so many rooted eyes

we reason lust

into underground

unbroken something else

always saying reach

all around us

worlds are cracking

shells are breaking

birth is calling out our name

down here we grow

syllable by syllable

digging affirmation

watering prayer to

ancestor mud

you and me brother

we know

who the ground will wake

into all our green belief

when the sky will recognize

our measured blues

how the people will dance

into heat shaped light

you and me brother

we remember why

and

what a bright thing it is

to be brown.

Gratitude Poem #4

Beautiful ones!!!

Daily gratitude is growing my soul! It is an honor to write a poem for Jeter a visionary example who has blessed my life ever since the start of the Mobile Homecoming Project and taught me that we can truly choose our family and watch them emerge! Thanks so much for supporting my dream trip home to Audre! And anyone else who wants to chip can jump on here: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip

For (Debra Renee) Jeter

After Audre Lorde’s “Syracuse Airport”

I hear

women from California

need no secrets

just clean drawers

to hold new knowing

I hear

the sun-ready intergalactic

among us know

what one and one makes

in the time of what looks like

too much

or

she who knows her joy

will find it every day

no matter who

is watching

Saying (Gratitude Poem #3)

Goodness daily!
It is such an honor and pleasure to have an excuse write a poem of long due gratitude to an exemplar in my life, who saw a community organizing accountable writer in me when I was just a straight-haired-platform-shoe-wearing-confused-self-righteous teenage so and so. Kavi I adore you!!! Thanks so much for contributing to my dream trip to Audre.

Anyone else who wants to chip in can check out: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip


Saying

for Kavita Rajanna

After Audre Lorde's "Building"

Kavi has permission
to roam the earth
to charge the air
with the sit down
of revolution
is not often taken
for local
at home

Kavi gives permission
to the fly and fearful
the restless and the rest
to remember
it is not that serious
it is exactly serious enough
to sit down
stay home
and dig in
for the revolution

Kavi places deep roots
and billboard blasphemy
without permission
vein strung seriousness
free of vanity
is taken
with the local
lifelong levity
of being
revolution.

Kavi on a mission
is a decolonial wheatpaste
and a heartfilled breakfast
and a reading suggestion
and the clarity of context
and a way worth walking behind
and a truth worth tracking
and is fiercely local
and is here
wherever here is
which is home.

Just saying.

Sunlight (Gratitude Poem #2)

Sunlight

For Linda Thurston, Mumia Abu-Jamal and the hunger striking prisoners in California who included in their demands...sunlight.

After Audre Lorde’s “Production”

Sweet leaks out the droning walls

call it hard-knocks monastery

call it Ghandi split and shackled

call it honey in a bitter built hive

Call it hunger

low voiced and steady

call it straining the flow

sweet don’t stop in the brackish brace of bars

sting our stumbling

our slowness our sloth

sting our floral forgetting

honey breathe deep

something is blooming in the dark

slice through thick blink invisible

slice through wax paper apathy

sweet leaks out

brown face in every full crack of air

seeking

sunlight

P.S. Linda:

Your vigilant invitation

for all our attention

to the CA Prisoners hunger strike

was activating heat

to the chlorophyll of change.

P.P.S. The gratitude poem series is my way of thanking the contributors to my dream trip of a lifetime to visit Gloria Joseph (whose beekeeping inspired the poem that inspired this poem) and to commune with the spirit of Audre Lorde!!! I am so excited! To contribute to this trip chip in at: http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip

Gratitude Poem #1

Greetings Family!

I am overjoyed to have been invited by brilliant Black Feminist Dr. Gloria Joseph to visit her in St. Croix and to commune with the spirit of my chosen ancestor Audre Lorde. I am inviting my whole community to contribute to my dream trip (http://alexispauline.chipin.com/praise-the-lorde-st-croix-dream-trip) and I have committed to write a poem inspired by Audre Lorde's The Marvelous Arithmetics of Distance for each contributor.

It is fitting and humbling that the very first person to contribute to my dream trip to visit Gloria Joseph in St. Croix is a person who started to read Audre Lorde the same time as me, back when we were teenagers looking. Someone who has known my poetry almost as long as I have, and who is also one of my favorite writers.

There is neither the first poem, nor the last poem by Alexis Pauline Gumbs for Elizabeth Rose Anderson. There is a special challenge in writing a poem for someone who for whom my poetry has no novelty anymore. :) So bullshit-free...this is for you WMCR:

For Elizabeth

After “Echoes” by Audre Lorde

There is a tinge of certainty

it comes from being heard

being known over time

it comes from not having to say

my scream is the same as my silence some days.

The grave is not still

it is choice

it is where our ancestors roll over

to hear a conversation that don’t stop

it is listening beyond escape

it is the decided irrelevance of distance.

So now in the time where future unravels

where promise tattoos

into long-held dreams coming true so fast

we heal doubt kill fear

rebirth those who said our blood was glitter

our truth was optional who said

it was our youth had fooled us into possible

There is a dirt root depth of voice

that comes from saying what

I do not need to say to you

who know and knew

we were always possible

we are proof

we are here

-Alexis Pauline Gumbs (July 26, 2011)