counterpoetics

for Edouard Glissant

steal this order out of progress
blunt and fractured calculus of screams
say it like you mean it
knowing that desire = loss

blunt and fractured calculus of screams
manufactured faith in words
knowing that desire = loss
still trying to multiply

manufactured faith in words
when we were born screaming
still trying to multiply
hyphenated seas of division

when we were born screaming
steal this order out of progress
hyphenated seize of division
say it like you mean it

when

i am an artist
when
i make home with you
when I sign my emails
when i look at you and fall apart
when i cry
i am a master painter
when i hold myself
i am an avant-garde sculpter
when i hold you
i create

i am an artist when i sing when i laugh when i scream
when i hold my grandma's mirror
when i see myself
i am an artist when i lie about myself on airplanes
when i confess my nothing at customs
i am an artist when i breathe when i breathe
(my lungs make lots of sketches towards air before i can really do that)

i am an artist when i smile
i am an artist when i dress myself in shreds of now
when i walk as if to provoke a future
i am an artist when i write on walls in sharpie
stick bright tricks on tables
i am an artist when i
listen

desire

last night sitting on the floor of mt. fuji
i learned from friends that

i am
most likely
to be
the dictator of a small country
a thief
shoplifting luxury items
stealing whole islands through coups
(therefore?) fabulously rich
a mean but ethical professor
a long term polyamour
i want this

solid

to be engraved in stone
and placed on sand

meditation on the headstones of Jeremiah and Lydia May Gumbs

this is hard
this is cracked strategically
is damaged by design

any/way i name it
this presses on my chest
inevitable and smooth

slowly flattening the heart
that beats back
juststayjustsaypleasestay

i hug your hardcover books
gasping at the warmth of loss
trying to take
your place

will me
the fiction of surrogacy
take this pick me loan me you

tattoo your voice into my outstretched arms instead
whisper up the wild reach of my hair and leave it silver
freeze into strung globes against my throat

sign the li(n)e
a polished stone

here
this body is yours

haiku for mama nayo

open bright photos
of love, make the sun come out
bless me with your loss

"i can't keep up with
the years" you sing a loud love
sustained song of now

pantoum on diaspora and nation

nation is a bedtime story
making nightmares out of daytime
stealing endings out of hope
as long as you fall apart

making nightmares out of daytime
diaspora stops time and keeps coming
as long as you fall apart
scream go stop no stop go know

diaspora stops time and keeps coming
if you see it if you say it
scream go stop no stop go know
blasting desire into space

if you see it if you say it
nation is a bedtime story
blasting desire into space
stealing endings out of hope

preliminal

Welcome. This is a blackspace, which means, (in Erna Brodber's formulation) that this space is about my emancipation from mental slavery...otherwise known as the place where I am publicizing and processing my PhD process. In other words, this blog is a techno-glam trick to get me to write every morning and to get feedback from the void.

Right now I have a list with hundreds of books on it designed to transform me into an expert on "Gender and Resistance in the African Diaspora". Let's read them together.
Holler at me.
Lex